Concentation on your power. Or never worry.

We can change others to the degree we change ourselves. The behavior of others should not be allowed to rob us of our peace of mind. It is difficult for anyone to remain mentally calm and hold his tongue when he is irritated by others, but no human being can successfully go through life telling everyone who annoys him how to behave. Unsolicited counsel creates tremendous resentment. One should not try to impose his will or ideas upon those around him, unless they have asked for such guidance. One mistake often made by novices on the spiritual path is that the moment they feel enthusiasm for seeking God, they want to change the whole world. They start a spiritual revolution in the home, with an all-out effort to convert husband or wife and the children.

It is wonderful to have that kind of eagerness, but it almost always arouses antagonism. It is better and highly recommended that one should change oneself first; reform yourself and you will reform thousands. The power and reality of ones faith, religion or spiritual convictions are best seen and demonstrated in the quality and manner of ones life. Living by example, by steadfast practice is the best teaching method. Living a quiet, kind, unpretentious, useful and upright life is the method of seers and sages. Ones actions speak louder and clearer than ones words. No one wants to be excessively advised especially if they aren't asking for it. Unless one is personally seeking guidance, he doesn't want to be told what to do. No one likes to have advice forced upon them. When the person is ready for counsel they will ask for it, and they will want it from someone who is close to them, or whom they love, trust or admire, if he sees a beneficial and genuine foundational change has taken place in that persons life. But so long as change is shown only in the form of platitude or lip service, the doubter will resist.

If you really want to benefit, uplift and contribute to the positive transformation of another, then be a living authentic example of what you want others to be. Do not expect of others what you do not expect of yourself. Do not ask or advise others to do what you yourself do not practice or do. Why get upset or angry over what others do, when you do the same things and yet experience no anger or dissatisfaction towards yourself? How easily we dismiss, disregard and forget our own shortcomings, bad choices, deceptive and setbacks, but how hard hearted, unforgiving, rude, indifferent, judgemental and impatient we can be toward others whose mistakes have been of a lesser degree than our own?

Personal practice and actual practical attainment is what gives moral power, spiritual authority, and acceptability to our words.

If you are inclined to lose your temper and fight back or speak harshly; if you scold your children unreasonably; if you are nervous and easily upset, shouting and speaking unkindly---

change yourself. That is the best way to change those around you. It is hard to do, but it can be done. One's effort should be directed toward making himself a person who is respected an looked up to; whose words carry weight. He should speak from actual personal experience, true personal wisdom and acquired understanding, never from anger, nervousness, resentment, jealousy, or desire to retaliate when hurt. People will listen to you more readily when they can see in your own manner of life the essence and practical fruit of the counsel you give them. People will be more inclined to give you a hearing and cooperate with you if they discern kindness and love in you rather than meanness and sternness.

Genuine kindness, respect and consideration for others can achieve what force never can. Fear, manipulation and intimidation are the methods used by evil and demoniac people.

Lovers of God, truth, love and light can never use such methods and have no need or desire to use such methods. It is the love, kindness, respect and consideration in our hearts which uplifts others and changes them when we speak to them. But if we speak and say nice and wise sounding things, but lack genuine love, consideration and concern for the other person, our words will perhaps enter the ears but not the heart, and it is in the heart where change occurs and has to happen. Our words will be lifeless, dead and powerless if we personally lack the practical values and inner spiritual principles we are superficially attempting to inculcate in others.

If you show anxiety, anger and impatience in your home that is how others will react and behave. It can't be otherwise. So if you want to impact others and improve the quality of life of those in your home or those you frequently associate with, then you have to take the initiative. Change yourself. When you change yourself you change and causes positive changes to occur in others. Now these changes are not instantaneous. They are slow, gradual and progressive changes that gain momentum over time. Continue to apply yourself and be the change you desire to see in the world. We can be a part of the solution or we are a part of the problem. There is no middle ground.

((*This is a reproduction of an article written by an enlightened devotee*))